Three Month Absence, You Say?

Been meaning to blag a bit, but have gotten caught up in

1) Writing in an actual paper journal like a bad environmentalist, and
2) Having fun!

Been feeling pretty joyous all around. I'm spending time with cool people, including new co-workers/friends, and all the crazy shenanigans that go along. The other night we went bowling and decided if you bowled a strike you got to grab someone's ass. If you bowled a spare, then a spankin'. Needless to say, it was a pretty amazing time. ;)

Lames.

Dudes, I just feel fucking lame. My job is lame, and the overtime I've been working towards being totally awesome to make up for the lameness imposed upon my life by my lame job is EXHAUTING! And today I found myself trying to make up for the lameness with ice cream, which seemed like a good idea for a few minutes until I realized it was a fucking awful idea to eat ice cream to feel better. Good thing I realized it...and that my plastic spoon broke. Actually, I broke two plastic spoons. And when two spoons break on you trying to stuff your face full of ice cream to forget about what a lame couple weeks you're having...you take the sign, man. So now I'm sitting here not eating ice cream and thinking about pizza instead. Functional.

Another reason I feel lame is that my grandma passed away last week. I wouldn't say we were close, but we weren't not close either. She lived in New York, and there were family issues, real and fictional (though we didn't truly realize the fictional until I was at her funeral last week, which is a ridiculous 14-year bullshitfest in the making). Anyway, we hadn't really talked in about a year and a half (maybe two - it might've been when I invited her to graduation, which she didn't appear to remember) when I randomly decided to write (and SEND, crazily enough) a letter to her. I wrote in my number, hoping she'd call but not really expecting it. But she did. She ended up calling me on break one day, and we had a truly lovely conversation (I was definitely late getting back from my 15-minute break!). Apparently she was really ecstatic about the letter, because when she died five days later and I flew out to New York for the services I kept hearing about how happy it made her. And while I tend to boast a life of very little shame and regret, I keep finding myself in shock that she's gone, and that the time to reconnect further (though that phone call will be cherished) is gone with her.

So go call your grandmas. Like NOW.

Mized in with all this is a pretty un-fun eczema week, which makes even objectively good weeks feel pretty lousy. Lots of finger splits and stinging. It's probably this shampoo I've been using, but playing "Which Shampoo Won't Hurt You?" is only entertaining to a certain level. Definitely too tired to be playing that right now.

To try to end on a positive note, someone is going to lend me a banjo fo' free while I save up for my own! That's pretty neat.

Someone else appreciating the awesome of the P/T Lifestyle!

From Overqualified. Emphasis mine:

"To: Citibank
Re: The ground floor

Dear Citibank,

I am writing to apply for a job with your company, and I should say ahead of time that I am using you to tease my mother. I don't have any interest in whatever it is you people do. Every time I see her, she starts in on me again. Why don't you have a career yet? What are you doing with your life?

But Citibank, you know what the best day of my life was? The day I realized that I could work a shitty part time job to cover my rent and my food, and the rest of my time could be my own.

So, I apologize for using your current economic woes to tease my mother, and her idea of my banker cousin as a model I should aspire to. I know you guys are probably freaking out. You need to just relax. Think about what I said. I have a pretty nice life.

Joey Comeau"

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT LIFE (and why I work P-Tizzle)!

Now if I could just have a madly-successful website and super-selling books...

Happy Monday!

I want to be bestest best friends with whoever sent this in!

Erika and I have discussed the awesomeness of ska many times in regards to how even songs about sad things are upbeat and funky. I'm glad someone else agrees! :)

Book Recommendation.

Interesting read about dismantling rape culture in our society (United States). It's a compilation of essays from a number of sources covering a diverse range of topics. One might argue that they don't go into enough detail on certain issues, but I think this meant to be a kind of taste of many different topics which can be pursued in other books after. The neat thing about this book is not only its focus on fixing our society and prevention instead of simply punishing individuals after the fact, but it has a pro-positive sex, pro-feminist outlook as one of its assets that I think really make it a good, interesting, informative book to read.

That's all for now. I'm halfway done with my "read 10 books" resolution!

I'm too sexy for my hat...?

I'm reading this book right now, and it made me realize that I've never considered myself really, truly "sexy". I've had "hot days", in which the t-shirt I put on and my clean hair make me feel pretty cool. But I've never thought myself "sexy", and for the foreseeable future cannot imagine that changing.

This isn't a "Oh, rahrah, feel bad for myself rahrah!" moment, because I don't. Just a thought while reading.

Ah, letter.

Dear Parks & Recreation (the show),

I'm glad you are starting to suck less, because I really like Amy Poehler - and to put her in a failed series would be unfortunate. Please continue improving yourself to be good enough for Ms. Poehler.

Love,
Kymba

There comes a time in every girl's life when she realizes she must grow up and...buy a banjo.

Sooooo, which one should it be? I've found the most spectacular site of banjo lovers who have been a wonderful help, but still can't decide!

Shmeh?

Or Shmeh (click for bigger on both)?

I think I'm worried about the construction of one versus the appearance of the other. And also underrating/overrating either of them in those departments. I've heard a lot about this thing called BAS (Banjo Acquisition Syndrome), and want to make sure I'm buying something good enough that I can put off that seemingly inevitable disease for as long as humanly possible. I've heard of people upgrading after their first couple months because of love and progress, etc, and I surely don't have the funds to want [to want] to do that. What if I buy the prettier one but it turns out to not be made well and I feel the need to upgrade? What if I buy the possibly better-constructed one, but advance so quickly I feel the need for a more traditional-looking/pretty one? Plus, the blonde maple is slightly uncommon and neat - unless the banjo sucks.

I mean, I'll probably get sucked into buying a more expensive one eventually, but which will allow me to put it off for the absolute longest?

"I'm Crazy"

So, I tend to devalue my reactions/feelings towards other people's not-so-considerate actions a lot, saying "Sorry if I seem frustrated, I'm just tired/hungry/having a weird day"...which is basically saying "I'm crazy" instead of "Hey, that action is slightly messed up - think we could work out a compromise here or something?"

Heh.

Fun posts to come, honest! You know I hate seriousness! And to prove it:

Drew this for my friend Danny's birthday today!
Happy Birthday, friend!

What the fuck?

I seem to be spending a lot of time this morning sitting on the floor just wondering, and not in the whimsical "What shall I dream of today?" kind of wondering, but a "I'm lost, but I didn't even know I was trying to go somewhere" one. Finding myself confused and malcontented, and pondering how I even got there (because how can I get out of it if I don't know?).

I guess I was at a loss earlier thinking about this interview I have today. Wanting to look knowledgeable about the company and its values, wanting to appear clean but properly "unprofessional" to show how I look normally, and my general "Interviews are a giant beauty contest charade and I forgot to put Vaseline on my teeth" discomfort. I'm friendly, not fake. If I'm smiling, I'm happy. If I'm nice to you, it means you're nice, or at least not being a jerk (or I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt), and I sincerely appreciate that. There will be no contrived bouncing or bubbliness - just sincere friendliness. Or diplomacy if you've chosen to be a weenie. But in an interview, bouncy, smiling-so-hard-it-hurts seems to be what's desired and I just can't give it. And I don't have one of those "friendly-looking though in neutral" faces that other people have.

So that one had me at a sit-still for a few minutes, and now a few minutes more writing about it.

Secondly, my mom's boyfriend has decided to build a shed in the yard to paint in. I finally got to see how high this thing would be, and it's pushing right into the branches of the trees in our yard, ones that I took spectacular fall pictures of last year. I was pretty peeved when he said they were going to cut the branches back for this shack, for a number of reasons I realized while sitting on the floor like a jack-ass.

Firstly, as an environmentalist or modern-day hippie, or just an advocate of simplicity, I just can't wrap my head around this building. Why not use the space we have more efficiently, instead of constantly having to take over new spaces or build new shacks (yeah, world, I'm talking to you - fuckin' soapboax)? Dan took over Mom's porch office, then a chunk of space in the basement, and now he's building another fucking thing outside. I personally don't see why the basement isn't working, though I'm glad he's moved most of his paintings out of the porch which made it inaccessible (even though now that's HIS office apparently). Monie had mountains of shit in our room (some of which recently got moved into her new apartment), took over Joe's room with giant piles of clothes, and has her fold-out "closet" (in addition to the closet in our room packed with crap) in the dining room. In the 1.5-2 years I've been home, I have kept my shit in my one room. Sure, a pillow or bag of stuff going to the thrift store escapes and sits in a different room for a few days, but I have mostly contained it, and don't see why others can't efficiently use space as well. Secondly, there has been welcome living here, but definitely not openness in letting my items into another space. I get heckled like crazy about that bag of stuff going to the thrift store. I get heckled for charging my phone in another room. It's inefficiency and inequality, if I can be so dramatic.

I mean, everyone can say "Ah, well, let them do what they want it's their frickin' business", but I think it's a shame that we as a society fail to see how much space we actually have, even in houses so small our moms make living rooms into bedroom/office combos. I can't share this idea in the house, because no one would care to listen, and would probably just roll their eyes about "Kym having to break out her opinion or values about some shack in the backyard". It's a shame.

And it's a shame that I won't be able to take spectacular photos this fall either.

Spring Finally Hits Chi-town!

I have spent the last two mornings extracting dandelions from the yard in beautiful, glorious sunshine, the last two afternoons resting by the lake, and the last two evenings watching The Office. I also have been drinking chocolate soy milk.

The last few days have kicked ASS.

Fuck you, buddy.

A Quick Note.

Dear Conservatives,

Honestly, this is something you do EVERY YEAR, regardless of who controls the White House. So, in the words of the 90s:

SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA.

Love,
Kymba

Not dead! Busy!

Dudes and dudettes, do not fear! Skanky Hooker isn't dying THAT easily. I'm just busy because we're in the last week before the election/my city imploding, and I have a lot of stuff to do/people to have in-case-we-don't-survive sex with!

Last weekend was spectacularly awesome, and I'm excited to blag about it, but that'll have to wait until tomorrow, my last day off until CRAZY happens. So stayed tuned tomorrow. ;)

Plugged In - A Rant Of Sorts - By Kymba

Dudes, there is way too much pressure to be informed in this hyper-speed uber-technological society. There's so much fucking random information coming at us all times of the day. And if you're not on top of each and every underground artist's song, or every youtube parody of Beyonce, or every food someone has wrapped in bacon and deep-fried to put pictures of on the internet, people are kinda rude. Well, not "rude", but a "yeah, i saw that already [so you must be an idiot for not knowing about it]" attitude. I mean, they're probably just giving it so the time when they aren't the first person on top of the latest bacon-drenched monstrosity they'll have some buffer of coolness.

But I say FUCK IT. I'm sick of feeling like myself and others are drowning in this pressure to stay on top of all the latest headlines and the newest crazy skyscraper/33-story Baskin-Robbins Dubai has plans to build (dude, that place is both amazing and insane). Because there's no fucking way to keep on top of all this bullshit. And if someone tells me about something I've already seen (by some insanity, since I'm not good at keeping informed about every entry that pops up on cuteoverload or collegehumor), I'll just say "HOLY SHIT THAT'S AWESOME". Because bacon-wrapped mozzarella sticks are STILL AWESOME, even if I've already seen them.

Thank goodness I'm a vegetarian.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude...

Not buying this shirt for Mickey is one of my biggest regrets.

P.S. I know it's kinda dumb, but I am deliriously tired and found this just hilarious: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/571110/what_smoking_leaves_in_your_lungs/

Smartassery has a special place in my heart.

Tomorrow is Book Club, and I'm not even a third finished with this book. It's shameful, really. Also, I'm enjoying it so far, and thought I would make enough time to just get the thing read. Blargh. Ah, well.

Work was insane last week. The weekdays consisted of no less than 10 hours/day of work or work-related activities. For instance, there was a candidate forum by the Women League of Voters in which the other team, under allegations of pay-to-play politics, etc, refused to show up and then blamed the WLV for not giving them enough time to prepare...even though the request to use certain city space for the event was brought to the attention of the administration (certain individuals of their team are incumbents, including the mayoral candidate) five weeks ago. Also, the deadline for applying to be in the informational packet the WLV puts out for free to the community was accompanied with the offer to be in the debate, and they got their biographies in on time for that, go figure!

But that's all I'm going to say about work. Last week was both fun and stressful. Saturday was fun and rewarding for everyone, but today was kind of ugly. I'm not not worried. Also, part of me wants to ditch Tuesday, since it's supposed to be 69! I would screenprint shirts, make churros with Erika (who is also ditching work in my mind), and go picnic by the lake and crochet...

I think I've lost it, too.

Because sometimes you realize how blessed you are and how ridiculous life can be (in the good way!):

Today my boss either lost it or what just really craving sugar, but when we went to pick up print-outs from Staples, she stopped to pick up jelly beans, animal crackers, and ice cream sundaes for us on the way back...if that's not an amazing day, I don't know what is.

P.S. I can't stop laughing...working 12-13 hour days is taking its toll...

To A Cool Fella.

Happy Would've Been Birthday, Dad.

Things I Did In The Bathroom This Week.

We used to have this 67-year-old Swedish man (or something) "following" this blog...but he recently realized what I meant by "skanky hooker", and disbanded. Sad panda! And now he's going to miss these Great Moments in Pottydom from this past week.

It all started with Shmaniel buying the house a new toilet seat and cutting out the "asiento para bano" part of the box. He put it in my room, where it was accidentally blown over somehow, so when he asked me if anything looked different in my room, I said "Uh, a random strip of cardboard?" Upon his laughter, and me investigating and turning it over, I decided a good home would be above our siento para bano (is that even a correct translation?).

In another, more enchanted, better-painted bathroom than our own...I planted my second "You Are Beautiful" sticker! It's at the Kopi Cafe, which is a wonderful place. I just wanted everyone there to know how freakin' tasty they are (though someone probably took it down now, eh?).

Lastly, this morning I randomly thought about my dry-erase marker, and kinda did some scribblin'. Already, certain people are not amused, but these are pretty great in my opinion. I suggest you all give it a try:

I like how one of these happened when it was sunny, and the other when it was cloudy.

To close, a Mom and Kym moment.

Kym: I feel like I'm going to die alone.
Mom: Well, you were born alone.
Kym: I dunno, I'm pretty sure you were there.

Dear Government, Thanks in advance for teh monies! Love, Kymba

iPod cord found. Ska downloaded. Listened on way to post office. Mailed tax return forms. Waiting for check. Skanked.

Also, greeeeeeat moment from David:

Kym: I got inner peace and shit.
David: That *must* be hell.
Kym: How do you figure?
David: How are you supposed to function if you're not constantly indignant?

Great thing, or GREATEST thing?

Ganked from ign.com!

Dear Japanese Lady Ska Band Ladies Of ORESKABAND,

Have you seen my snorkel?

Love,
Kymba

P.S. Would it be culturally insensitive to say "Konichiwhyaren'tyouinmybed"?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apologies if the above offended anyone. Feeling like a goof today.

Anyway, I thought I had a lot to say right now, but apparently I don't. Work is good, and last week I made ratatouille for the first time! It is purty tasty, especially served on creamy polenta that has melted fontina in it! The pictures were less-than-irresistible, though, so we'll save that for another time.

Both crocheting and knitting had come to a bit of a halt, since I:

1) cannot find size 13 double-pointed needles to finish my hat for Warm Woolies; and
2) I lost the two balls of yarn that were meant to make a crocheted bear hat (with little ears!).

Cleaning my space always seems to result in me losing stuff (like my iPod cord, which has severely diasabled my ability to put new ska on my iPod). Luckily, the yarn turned up last night, though the iPod cord has not. Wish me luck on THAT one...stupid clean room being less efficient than stupid dirty room...

P.S. New Pom&Clem today over Tumblr way! ;)

Ska En Espanol Part One!

Ska en Espanol? YES PLEASE! Oh, sure, I know I talk about Reel Big Fish like they're the only ska band ever, but today we're going to give some mention over to what I'd almost call the Argentinian version of Reel Big Fish...kidding, each ska band is special and amazing. Today we're going to give a quick saxophone ska solo to the Faaaaaaabulosos Cadillacs.

If we could compare RBF to LFC, it would only be regarding how long they've both been around. Well, technically Los Fabulosos Cadillacs began seven years earlier, in 1985, but the band lamed out from 2001-2008, so I consider them about the same...or something. That is a pretty impressive stretch of ska-maraderie! Yes, I realize that only two of the members have remained throughout the evolution of the band, but it is still impressive that they've kept such a great sound going.

Ganked from TheSceneStar.typepad.com!

Los Fabulosos Cadillacs are pretty, well, see the name - and they're coming to Chicago in April! Woo hoo! Tickets cuestan muchos, man, but it might be worth it to see the band who helped start the Ska Revolution of Buenos Aires. Also, Erika keeps making jokes that she's already bought them, but I can't tell if she's kidding or not...

Classy Kate Moments

Kym: I once made an almond joy latte; It was awesome!
Kate: Kym, you make me feel almond joy, 'cause when I look at you baby, I wanna bust a nut.

Kate: I want a librarian to biblioteca-me-out-on-a-date!

Tonight Erika and I bought Whole Foods Two-Bite Brownies and went to the bookstore to find The Fat Girl's Guide To Life. Sadly, it was not in stock, ruining what might've been a chuckle-worthy moment at the cash register.

Now I have Business Time stuck in my head from good iPod/Zenny car time.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Electric Six,

Why you no have tickets for Chicago?! I wanna see me somma this!

Love,
Kymba

When Skanking Turns Ugly...Or AMAZING!

During an intense skanking session today...well, we'll just let the pictures speak for themselves, shall we?

It was pretty outstanding. My first response, besides to finish singing my favorite part of the song, was to do a simple mental poll:

Q: Am I in the basement?
A: No.

After finding that important answer, all was good and fine. Luckily, there was some kind of panels or thin support under that (possibly part of our heating system), or I could've had my leg/crotch end up in a really awkward and scary position dangling over the basement (though you can see the basement as the light part of the picture above).

The accident was 80% the floor, since one of the short panels was
actually made by two even-smaller panels. I mean, it was
100% my outlandish greatness.

Dear Reel Big Fish,

I do believe I should be named your Most Hardcore Fan of the Week. At least until the next idiot busts a hole in his or her floor.

Love,

Kymba

NyQuil Made Me Do It.

I'm not going to lie, but I am going to make ridiculous excuses about it being decongestant-related...I spent about an hour and a half today watching parodies/remixes of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" video, a song I hated until this guy:


It was all my phlegm-filled brain could take today. Here are some of the other ones that I enjoyed greatly, due to deliriousness (click pictures to go to the videos!):


Yeah, it was a pretty messed-up afternoon. Sorry. But if you're sick, it's pretty amazing.

You can't make this shit up. Or maybe you can.

According to Wikipedia:

"Nikola Tesla, Mark Twain, and Bertha von Suttner combine forces to try to bring about world peace through superior firepower. The comic's introduction shows Twain explaining that the story does not concern itself very much with historical accuracy, and this assertion is borne out by the story: Twain and Tesla use scientific know-how, general trickery and media manipulation techniques to try to scare world leaders into following their noble path. In the company of several allies, the two are soon confronted by dark forces led by the dastardly Thomas Edison, John Pierpont Morgan, Andrew Carnegie and Guglielmo Marconi."

The dastardly Thomas Edison. For real.

Ugh, so, I'm sick. But this'll give me more time to lie in bed and knit.Except when I have to work.

Why, yes, work. I managed to score a little unofficial job with some candidates running for local office, helping with events and organizing their hoards of paperwork and computer files that haven't been in at least two years. It's kind of a giant mess, but the woman is super-nice, and I definitely like organizing [when it's not for myself]. Plus, it's purty tasty to have a little cash coming in during my work-downtime, and working for a campaign is great fun, as well as helpful to teh resume. My fantastic three-year plan involves working for local government while taking culinary classes and saxophone lessons, which'll set me up for politics, owning a bakery, and starting a ska band...what?

Now, gonna down some tea and NyQuil and knit until I pass out drooling on myself and said knitting. Rock on!

Hey! You forgot the hotties!

It occurs to me that this blog has covered me being a hooker, but not being skanky. For now, I will simply advise that during fabulous baking parties you should listen to Canadian indie rock out of Montreal, such as Malajube or Les Breastfeeders, and that all super-sexy cooking time be done with ska, particularly Reel Big Fish or Save Ferris. But don't take my word for it (okay, do), try it yourselves. This is kind of a big deal.

So, apparently knitting isn't dead in my life. The crazy middle-aged ladies knitting ministry got in some chunky wool yesterday, and it is huge, and, you know, maybe I'll give it a try. This will also be my first excursion into circular needles, which the fabulous Kate currently swears by - though I heard blasphemous mention of "double-pointed needles" escape her yesterday. Of course, this assessment is coming from the woman who went completely AWOL.

Moving on. In addition to making a spectacular croquembouche, one of my New Year's resolutions is to read ten books. So far I have read two. One of them sucked so terribly I would prefer not to mention it, and the other is Silent Spring by Rachel Carson. I majored in Environmental Studies and Political Science, and yet we were never required to read this book, even when we read Sand County Almanac and Encounters with the Archdruid (which I would consider similar). Next is a book on John Coltrane, followed by Opening Up for the Feminist Book Group.

Soon, my sweet. Soon.

The Highlights Of Cupcakedom

It was my first time scraping out my own vanilla bean.
Sorry this picture kinda sucks.

Don't these look bigger in vanilla ice cream?

Those were some de-fucking-licious cupcakes.

I swear I'm not crazy.

I keep hearing other 23-26 year olds lamenting over how all "the good ones" are already engaged or married, since the first of our friends have started both getting rings and thinking about cake like crazy (hey, I'm halfway there...caaake...).

But I thought, "Wait! Have you seen the divorce rate in this country?!"

So basically my plan for life is catching some poor, emotionally-tormented sack on the worst kind of rebound. Perhaps my other flaws won't see so detrimental once they see that I'm actually sane, a characteristic they will have forgotten exists (even in themself).

Okay, done.


In other, crochetier news, two more hats have been thrown in the charity mix. Erika finished her lovely green scarf and last I heard had "made a circle" for a hat! We wondered why our scarves looked so freaking different, but figured out days later that I was doing double crochet and she was doing something like double crochet, except instead of pulling through two stitches and two stitches again, she pulled through one and then three stitches.

Perhaps to a more seasoned crocheter that sounds really dumb, but it was an exciting mystery for us. Erika had a coupon to the craft store today, too, so hopefully she will be swinging my way with another skein. I think after another hat I'm going to try my hand at mittens. Kinda nerve-wracking, even though the worst scenario would be froggin' it.

P.S. This is my first time getting to use the yarncraft phrase "froggin' it", and I feel it went pretty well. Thoughts?

In addition to new Pom & Clem today, I'm currently playing around with some ideas for another webcomic or two (that may involve LEGOS). It'll be neat. Well then, off to draw, write, explore, and eventually watch my own brain explode. If I'm not back in three days, send hotties. Please.

Signs Of An Afternoon Well-Spent:

Updating the handsome webcomic Pomegranate & Clementine, baking/eating chocolate stout cupcakes with vanilla bean cream cheese frosting, drinking the leftover Rogue Shakespeare Stout, and watching a ridiculous/amazing video of Bettie Page and cohort tying up a random woman to the Peter Gunn Theme. Cupcake pictures to be posted later.

Now I'm off for "beer in the shower" time, to be followed by more "me being irrationally awesome" time.

Happy Thursday!

Mail's Here! With Pictures.

Erika's class has been reading "Why We Need Mail Carriers" this week. Being a mail carrier would be freaking tasty, as long as you lived someplace...well, not here. Too much cold for me to celebrate walking outside for hours. But somewhere warmer it would be terrific to experience all seasons and get paid to be outside. I don't know what the monetary benefits are, but I would be content with free stamps, particularly if they were of the orange variety. Also, if you're a mail carrier, you don't get the demanding customers you would if you worked inside the post office. Plus!

But, alas, there are gigantic icicles hanging off all sides of my house, and my feet remain cold most of the day. So, at least until Spring, I am content to simply receive mail, and this week has been delicious regarding teh packages:
1. A few months back I sent a self-addressed, stamped envelope to You Are Beautiful, and subsequently completely forgot about it. So it was both confusing and awesome to have an envelope with my handwriting come in late last week. You Are Beautiful is this campaign that puts up fabulous art installations are all over the country (have they gone international?), reminding people of their sexiness regardless of constructed societal definitions. Anyway, they send you stickers and you glitter your community with positive thoughts. Stay tuned for photos!

2. Some of us don't have shame anymore, as a consequence of Quaker colleges and friends with no concept of boundaries. Mix that together with a little Girls With Slingshots, and you've got Kymba wearing a bright pink shirt with an empowered vagina on it. Right now it's cycling through the washer, but here's the design (from Danielle Corsetto's amazingly ridiculous mind):

You guys should seriously read GWS. It's superb.

3. As if I don't seem liberal enough from the rest of this mail sharing, I decided to go ahead and support pro-community, anti-corporate Anarchists by purchasing the Slingshot Organizer 2009:

Next to my bag with the ghetto embroidered tree and Obama pin. What?
Yes, I realize it is kinda anti-Anarchic to have a political pin.

The Slingshot Collective is epic, and puts out its own radical newspaper and these great organizers filled with doodles, guides, and a handy-dandy menstrual calendar! Normally I would play "Support Your Local, Independent Bookstore" for such an item, but was a couple months late to the game and they had all SOLD OUT. But Microcosm Publishing is quite a wonderful independent business as well, and managed to send a lovely orange one for me and green one for Erika. Thank you kindly!

Erika doin' some Anarchy book-learnin'.

It's a hilariously embarrassing time to be from Illinois.

Thanks, buddy!

Do people in other states find it as funny as I do that George Bush had an approval rating of 22% when left office, and Rod Blagojevich had an approval rating of 13% BEFORE THE SCANDAL? Damn, dude.

On the plus side, the federal government has been awesome this week! And, hey, when was the last time we could say that? Repealing the Global Gag Rule, passing the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, halting the "11th hour assault" on Yellowstone wolves, etc, etc, etc. I mean, QUA?! For the first time in forever I don't feel like I'm fighting my government! Is that even legal?

Before I go, I'd like to add this little gem from P.K. Winsome's segment on The Colbert Report, which is kinda how I've been feeling about the question "Did you think you'd live to see this day [when a Black man would become president]?"

Call me stinky liberal idealist or whathaveyou, but I agree...and wish this shirt actually existed.

Craft Craft Craft Craft CRAFT!

This photo is mine. Please respect that and credit me.

Yesterday, I was talking to Momma about crocheting and my "crafts".

"Don't say that word," she said.
"What? Crafts?" I asked.

This quasi-disgust at the concept of "crafting" came from her boyfriend, an avid oil painter who has transformed a frigid corner in our dingy basement into a painting nook. He's somehow given her this idea about crafts being these reproducible, unoriginal items. Perhaps too much cold air or huffing turpentine all day has lead him to this concept where only art is truly unique and crafts are vastly inferior, mundane wastes of talent. Now, anyone who identifies their handiwork as a "craft" knows that this is, in fact, bullshit. Many of the crafts existing today are skills passed down through generations of people over endless cultures for a variety of purposes, telling the story of our rich history and our promising future. They have some basic instructions and elements, sure, but the pieces become inevitably infused with the extremely creative ideas and characters of their makers! The ingenuity is incredibly evident, especially in this age of bright minds and designs.

So, crafters, whether you work with yarn, wood, steel, twine/hemp, ribbon, paper, glass, cardboard chunks or even empty fucking ice cream containers with needles, hooks, soldering irons, Exacto knives, ovens, pieces of grass, scissors, or a freaking pocket knife - and, of course, your two hands (one hand...feet...NOSE...) - TAKE PRIDE. Infuse yourself into your work and it will be as UNIQUE as any painting or drawing.

That is all.

Chaining For Charity

One of my best friends, Erika (also known as my Mexican Best Friend, or MBF to David), and I are in the process of shedding our lazy, taco-eating ways to contribute to our community more...besides being sexy and campaigning for the 'Bama like last year. I mean, we still eat tacos, obviously (we honestly have a taco schedule), but we've started crochet projects for charity and want to do some soup kitchenin' or Food Not Bombsing. When Canada stops farting ice in our faces, I'll begin the annual battle against buckthorn, garlic mustard, and other douche invasive species here as well.

Anyhow, Erika's doing scarves because she's a wuss, and I'm makin' up some pretty fine not-as-much-suck-as-usual hats, as you can see (above: Inauguration Day, getting my charity hat and my President Obama on; below: finished, obviously). Vury nice, eh? Also, I'm in a crazy middle-aged ladies knitting ministry at the Unitarian church (where I was "affirmed" but haven't attended in years) as the token loser twenty-something who barely knows what she's doing, and we're working with the Warm Woolies project. I'm having trouble finding some really chunky wool yarn, so this is one of the goals of the day. They have a pattern for a crocheted vest that doesn't involve a gauge. Uh, yes please?

New Year, New Blog, New Job, New President, New Craft.

I've decided/discovered that it takes me a year and a half to adapt to new situations enough to let out my complete awesomeness. I cite high school, college, and after-college adulthood as evidence. Just crossing the year-and-a-half-after-college line now, we'll see how things keep developing. Obviously, proof of the effective transition into exploding people's minds with my awesomeness is my recent dive into voluntary unemployment. Unlike other people who actually wanted to keep their jobs, the record unemployment rate for my lifetime seemed too cool to fly over safely. The new year seemed like a good diving board, as perhaps other spectacular idiots such as myself actually believed in the cleansing power of the newest last digit. So, here I am. It's like a grand pool party where no one knows how to swim, and I grabbed a pina colada before getting in...basically, I plan to make this look good.

The decision for a new craft was not born out of similar delusions, but rather a higher understanding of my inner self...I'm terribly lazy. Or, more positively, knitting was going nowhere for me. I was knitting and purling, but never seemed to get any better. The monotony (diotony?) of these two stitches left me wanting, since I could only make hats and scarves that took weeks while other people took hours. Oh, sure, one could point to the fact that up until November of last year I was on a cotton-only yarn strike as a tribute to my eczema-suffering brethren, and the size 7 martyr needles that went along with that, but the conclusion is that crochet is now my yarncraft of choice. In addition to swifter hats and neat knots, I have ability and courage to test the limits of crafting! One soiree of knottery was so intense it required me to wear goggles (plus, undiagnosed possible wool allergy).

In an effort to be egalitarian towards both halves of the yarn revolution, I often brag the positives of both knitting and crocheting and swear my allegiance to neither. However, for the time being, the better results of mutli-colored yarn and undeniable resilience of knitted things is simply not enough for me to call off this current hiatus.

As a quick last note, the fabulous Barack Obama became our new president yesterday, among an air of new possibility and the release of the new Reel Big Fish CD. It's definitely a proud time to be a ska-loving American citizen, and I plan to take advantage of the new opportunities (to serve or to skank) these outstanding people are providing me.